If you are going through a divorce and have children, you and your spouse will need to work out a child support arrangement, including who has to pay and how much the monthly obligation will be.

However, what if you don’t have a source of income and can’t afford child support? Will you still be required to make a monthly child support payment? The answer is usually yes. Read on to learn how this is decided and what you can do about it.

How is child support determined?

Child support is determined based on a variety of factors, including how much income each parent earns from a variety of sources, including salary or wages, commissions, bonuses, Social Security benefits, interest, and more. If a parent does not have a source of income, the court may impute income based on a prior work history and/or the parent’s potential earning capacity. (“Impute” means they estimate what you should reasonably be expected to be able to earn and how easily a job could be found.)

For example, if a parent is having career trouble and currently is not employed, the court may look at the parent’s previous employment history to determine how much they are capable of earning again in the future. In other words, your obligation will be partially based on your ability and opportunity to find similar work, whether inside or outside of your chosen profession.

Trying to avoid child support

In some cases, a parent may purposefully choose unemployment in order to attempt to dodge a child support obligation. The courts do not take kindly to this behavior, and will order child support based on imputed income. The court’s decision will, above all, consider the child’s best interests and will order whatever support is necessary to meet the child’s needs.

What if you can’t afford child support?

So what happens if you cannot afford your child support payments? Choosing not to make them, or   informally  arranging a modification with your spouse allowing you to pay what you can, are both incorrect courses of action. Failing to make timely payments means that you will accrue an arrearage, which will give your former spouse the right to file a contempt action. This will cost you even more money in court fees and litigation costs. Making an informal arrangement means you are still not fulfilling your legal child support obligations; only a court-approved child support modification can do that. If you absolutely cannot afford your payments, you should speak with your attorney to learn your options.

A recent report from Pew Research Center’s Religious Landscape Study found that more than half of married individuals feel that sharing household chores is an important key to a successful marriage. Shared chores ranked third, behind the importance of shared interests and a satisfying sexual relationship, and ahead of having children and adequate income.

If sharing chores contributes to a happy marriage, what happens to a marriage when one spouse takes on a disproportionate share of the housekeeping burden?

Another study, led by Michael Rosenfeld, Associate Professor of Sociology at Stanford University, discovered that women are more likely to initiate divorce. Rosenfeld cited a key reason for this was gender inequality, or when “husbands expect their wives to do the bulk of the housework and the bulk of the childcare.” The study began in 2009 and followed 2,262 heterosexual adults between the ages of 19 and 64 who were married or in a relationship. By 2015, 92 of those couples had divorced, 69% of which were initiated by women.

Lindsey Taylor, who conducted a similar study in the UK, found that 30% of marriages ended in divorce due to partners unfairly dividing chores. To put this into perspective, the same study revealed that 40% of marriages end due to infidelity. More than half of the couples involved in the study, however, admitted that domestic issues were a factor in their divorce.

What can we conclude from these studies? Do chores matter?

Many other studies exist, some indicating contrary findings to those described here due to other circumstances. We believe the results of many studies can be questioned, since different sampling pools can yield vastly different findings. Studies also cannot be applied directly to a couple’s unique situation.

Given the attention this topic has received over recent years, it seems safe to say that the division of household chores is something that can affect a relationship or marriage, even if it is a symptom of a larger problem, and should be discussed by couples.

I tell every client that meets with me the same thing – and the result is normally a nervous chuckle. “You can pay to send my kids to college, or you can keep your money and send your own kids to college.” And the result is typically the same – people want to save money, people want to avoid unnecessary battles, and people want to do what is best for their children. However, many times people enter into the divorce process with the best of intentions and they walk out of the process the participant of an atomic war….and it can be avoided.

Make Simple Disclosures

An atomic war can be avoided and an uncontested divorce can often be attained with simple disclosures. Yet so often, clients are hesitant to disclose anything to their spouses in fear that it might be used against them in litigation. Clients want to avoid telling their spouse they met with a lawyer, that they had an affair, or that there is $50,000 of credit card debt. However, even the most basic discovery will reveal all that information – at a large cost emotionally and financially. The result of a spouse failing to disclose such basic information typically leads to a path of distrust and pessimism which fuels legal positioning and skyrocketing fees.

Share the Decision Making

Another way to avoid an atomic war and maintain an uncontested divorce is to share the decision making of a divorce with your spouse. Often times, if one spouse controls the path of the divorce, the other spouse feels powerless and tries to gain power by asserting themselves with legal maneuvering. One simple solution to this problem would be to ask your spouse simple questions   about how they want to proceed in the divorce. “Do you want to do this divorce peacefully or through litigation?” “Do you want to sign a waiver or do you want me to serve you?” “Do you want to gather these documents together or do you want our lawyers to do it independently?” Sharing in these simple decisions helps both parties feel in control of the process, and when people feel like they have control, they typically make more rational decisions.

Consult with an Attorney

Simple disclosures and shared decision making can go a long way in the divorce process. As always, before deciding what path is best for you, you should always discuss your options and goals with an attorney at The Brooke Law Firm   who is trained to deal with your unique situation…and hopefully an attorney that doesn’t need you to fund their children’s college education.

No one really wants to talk about their last will and testament, but this is one legal issue you don’t want to leave unattended. After all, it could lead to a major rift in your family, one which you are not around to mend.